Who am I?

It’s a hard question to ask, and a harder one to answer.
I’ve always been able to talk about what I USED to be. I used to be selfish, I used to be naive, I used to be weak. But how is it that I know that I am no longer those things?
The answer I’ve come to is that I don’t. I have no idea who or what I am. I only know who I used to be, what people think I am, what people want me to be…
But who do I want me to be?
Truly, I have no idea. I am so so unhappy with my lot in life, but I don’t know what I want instead, what would be better. I hate myself but have no idea what’s actually really wrong with me when it comes down to it. I hate my life, but I love the people in it. Why do I complain so much? Why do I feel so negatively? I DON’T KNOW.
I feel like I know nothing, nothing is real, nothing is certain. Am I a good person? What IS a good person? What ARE any of these concepts that I live my life by? This structured cell I have built for myself, of what I think I am, what I think I want. I want to break outside of this box.
I want to find myself, I want to breathe a different kind of air and take myself away from the baggage I carry around and find out who I am, what matters to me and what it is I’m trying to get out of life.
I don’t know how to do this… But I intend to find out.
To be continued.
Debbimouse(?), over and out.


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