This post is gonna be a little different to my usual stuff. The other night I was thinking about broken hearted slut stuff and decided to write a blog post to get it off my chest. However the result was more like poetry than prose. So while I’ll post it here today, it more likely belongs on my booksie site (look me up- username: honeybee lilico)
Lying awake, alone, again tonight.
’cause you were on my mind.
I’m missing you again tonight,
Wishing I had been more kind.
Wishing I’d had the foresight,
To be a nicer girl.
Instead of loving every minute with you,
I let unpleasant things unfurl.
Wishing I could just call you up,
And apologise one last time.
Wishing I could hear you say “I love you”,
Rather than just echoes in my mind.
I’m lying awake in tears tonight,
It’s quite a regular thing.
The pain in my chest grows strong tonight,
The scars of our brief fling.
Clutching at my necklace,
I’m feeling rather reckless.
But I know it’s best,
To let this rest;
Even when the current state,
Does little to make my pain abate.
And instead I am left to cringe.
I’ll keep lying awake, alone at night,
Maybe to my dying day.
You’ll stay on my lovesick mind tonight,
As if that first kiss was yesterday.
By my recollection,
That first kiss was perfection,
And I don’t want it ever to die.
If I had a choice of beds tonight,
It would be yours that I’d choose.
A chance to try and make it right,
That argument I’ll always lose.
I won’t accept that it’s impossible,
Whilst I know you don’t really try.
I am heavy with the memories lost to us,
Full of endless tears to cry.
Lying awake, alone tonight,
I really should have known.
I don’t want a single word from you,
Not a tear, not a breath, not a groan.
For I know you loved me too.
It’s the thought that gets me through tonight,
When my mind begins to fade.
I’ll leave you alone tonight,
And every day until forever.
You didn’t want this crazy girl,
Who thought herself far too clever.
So I’ll try and grant that heart breaking wish,
And build myself a wall.
Between me and you.
I don’t doubt you’ll build one too.
Brick by brick,
Until there’s nothing left for the two of us,
But my broken heart,
Shattered in the dust,
Lying next to all my memories of you.
Debbimouse, over and out.